fuzzkitty:

Beard Pride. 

(taken before I cut my beard for work last month.) 

love it.

(via fireextinquisher)

:)

(Source: onlylostphysics)

Cleared ME3 for the 2nd time and it doesn’t piss me off any less this time around.

This time, I got red ‘splosions instead of blue ones alalallalaalalla hooray so wildly different to last time.  Thanks to multiplayer, I got Shepard’s last breath. I assume it’s Shepard, because to show some random N7 soldier breathing makes no fucking sense. Also, the video file name includes the word “SHEPARD” so, that clears that up. It IS Shepard breathing.

So here’s a list of stuff I don’t get (again):

1. What does the Crucible do? It doesn’t seem to do anything except magically change the Catalyst and his shitty retard “solution”. SPACE MAGIC.
2. AGAIN where the fuck is the Normandy going? You can only assume that explosion is coming from a Mass Relay, why are they leaving? How come my entire crew is on that ship, including the two squad mates I took with me to the magical beam? If that explosion is NOT from a relay explosion, it’s safe to assume that a fuckton of other ships are getting caught up in it as well.
3. Why are the Reapers transporting humans to the Citadel?  The guess from Anderson is that it’s to create a Reaper but seriously WTF?  If they’re so convinced they’re going to pwn us, why bother? Isn’t it convenient that the Citadel has all that Reaper-making gear inside it — JUST IN CASE.
4. Why does Shepard not have the same gun I gave him? Why does it have unlimited ammo?
5. Why did the Illusive Man indoctrinate himself? He’d never hinted at controlling the Reapers before (I assume what he says at the end of ME2 is after he’s genius plan to implant himself with Reaper-tech), and he never seemed super stupid enough to be that… well, stupid.
6. Why does the Catalyst refer to itself as seperate from the Reapers, as the controlling force behind the Reapers and yet continually say things like “you can controlus?” or “we”?  
7. How come the Catalyst hasn’t paid any attention to like, real life? Javik already told me the Protheans were already beating the synthetics in the Metacon wars (?), Shepard has befriended and worked with and supported EDI - a synthetic life who thanks him personally for helping her feel “alive” - as well as brokering a peace between the Geth and, oh, I dunno — every other species in the galaxy.  Never mind the fact that actually, the Geth weren’t generally violent by nature anyway - they fought back for self-preservation, not because they decided to turn against their creators.
8. How did the Catalyst magically come up with these 3 new solutions? Did I just answer my own question — SPACE MAGIC?
9. Why does Shepard go “oh durr hurr the Illusive Man was right” when the bastard fuck kid says “you can control us” (there it is again)?  No, he wasn’t “right”!  He was fucking indoctrinated - he implanted himself with Reaper tech FFS, we KNOW this and yet Shepard just blindly goes “oh… so he was right all along, tralalalalalaaa”… EVEN THOUGH THE STUPID STAR CHILD BASTARD LITERALLY JUST TOLD US THAT HE IS MAKING THIS CRAP UP JUST NOW.
10. “The fact that you are here proves our solution will no longer work”… it never fucking “worked” in the first place (what kind of moron is all “omg I created synthetics to kill organics so organics wouldn’t be killed by synthetics”?).  Problems, there are many:
    1. The fact that organics kept creating synthetic life despite your tidying up every 50,000 years proves that your solution is bullshit. It’d be more helpful to give some kind of warning about creating synthetic life that like, didn’t involve using synthetic life to kill all organic life as a warning about the dangers of synthetic life.
    2. You could have allowed your “solution” to work by just leaving Shepard to die down there, but instead you used SPACE MAGIC to elevate him to the top of the Crucible/Citadel join line where he can use SPACE MAGIC to breathe totes fine so that he can choose 3 solutions you pulled out of your ass JUST RIGHT NOW because the Crucible used SPACE MAGIC to change you. The fact that you kept Shepard alive and kicking and conscious long enough to pick one of these three dumb options is proof that your solution will no longer work. You shoulda just left him to die, retard.
11. The disappearance of the Normandy is still bothering me. Why where how what when?  That place looks like Virmire. It’s gonna be Virmire. The Geth, not needing food or gravity or like, anything, are gonna go rescue my crew from Virmire and unicorns and rainbows tralalala.
12. Even if cruising speed is 12 light years an hour, how the fuck are people gonna get about without the mass relays?  All useful and important elements, people, resources etc. are in the Sol system.  Fuel depots have been destroyed, galaxy-wide (BioWare numpties can claim fuel is unnecessary all they want, but since fuel depots EXIST I’m gonna call BULLSHIT on this one), you have to dump ezo cores, half the galaxy (at least) is unchartered territory… the Milky Way is around 100,000 light years in diameter. The Sol System isn’t right at the edge so let’s shorten that to… what? 70,000 to get to Rannoch? I know nothing about space travel.  12 light years an hour means you can travel 288 light years a day (24 hours). So to travel 70,000 light years would take…243 days if I’ve done the maths right (or near enough right…there’s about a 70% chance of correctness based on the fact that I was good at this shit once, and I got a 2nd opinion XD). That’s cruising speed, and assumes you can go in a straight line from A to B. Which you can’t. I don’t know if you’d dare do more than that if you don’t actually know your way around half the galaxy. Never mind where the food, fuel, ezo etc. is going to come from to last even half a year. There’s no way you can guarantee that 50% of the people you have back in the Sol System will ever make it home.  And what of the people left behind? People on Earth are probably OK, as all the resources are there anyway… a fuckton of ships - including civilian, transport AND military - are in the Sol System getting fucked over.
13. If the Catalyst can pull these three solutions out of his ass, why can’t he just hit the Reaper’s off switch? Why can’t it just be “aw shit, you made it and proved me wrong. I’m a kill Reapers for you”??? It’s like in Fallout 3 when you have the super mutant companion (can’t remember the name now) who refuses to go and get the radiation they’re immune to in order to purify the water FOR NO GOOD REASON.  Starbrat claims he “can’t” partake in any of the options. Never mind the fact that the little shit won’t explain WHY he can’t, but ALSO how come he/she/it can magically alter the DNA of every living organism in the ENTIRE GALAXY but can’t just turn the Reapers off?  
14. If I merge Shepard’s DNA with that blue beam of SPACE MAGIC I still don’t understand how it changes the DNA of every organism in the galaxy. Or why the Reapers just burn out.  After all, we know they are both organic and synthetic life forms - synthetics created from organic life, “emitting both organic and inorganic signatures”.  Why don’t they just go back where they came from and live with rainbows and moonbeams and lollipops? Why do they just drop off?  Supposedly their purpose no longer exists but isn’t that just kind of an off switch? Why doesn’t the Catalyst just have an off switch without changing everyone’s very essence without their consent or knowledge (using SPACE MAGIC)?  Why does Shepard even have to die? Why can’t you just take a sample of his DNA? We can do this NOW, it stands to reason that it’s plausible this far in the future. Shepard’s already part synthetic, to make his death necessary makes no sense. Of course, none of this option makes sense so … yeah.
15. Destruction. WHAT ABOUT EDI!???
16. Don’t tell me to buy stuff after that mess.  Fuckers.

I think I’m going with Indoctrination Theory. It’s the only thing that makes sense. At least Shep finally got to have mansex-with-his-pants-on with Kaidan. That’s all that matters, right?

To everyone that is so high-and-mighty about those of us that hate the ending — how about explaining it instead of calling us names?  Can you explain why, if we’re the minority, EA games - one of the (if not THE biggest) biggest game companies in the world - has decided to do some (shit) damage control?  Why do they feel it necessary to release an “Extended Ending”? 

To those of you that want us to shut up about the ending because we should be “grateful” that EA / Bioware are releasing a “new” ending - LOL.  Obviously you all understand the ending because you took the pretty moving pictures as fact. You’re in the same league as people who take the Bible as literal, matter-of-fact truths: You lack the intelligence to question anything the pretty pictures spoon-fed you based on past experience, common sense or general knowledge. 

To those of you who liked the ending but aren’t dicks about it — please explain it to the rest of us >_<

?

Wednesday afternoon porn.

(Source: yellowcrown, via astroize)

In regards to this monstrosity, (that patch SOOOOOOOOOO didn’t fix the facial import) I kinda fixed her.  She looks mostly the same… maybe a bit less babyish. Skin tones are really messed up in ME3 though - it’s like, sickly white, pastey, pastey, pastey, Indian, black.  She used to be this weird slightly tanned yellowy colour and I liked it XD

misteradamjensen:

leila-vas-qwibqwib:

kiapurity:

ladywinde:

kalreegars:

yukidama:

even though i can’t in general with this dress, i can’t even more with the zipper on the back.

really?

I’m just so confused as to how this dress even works. Is it 2-piece? What?

And then if you take a closer look, the thong lines. Like really? Is that really necessary? XD

The first thing I did when looking at the back of the dress, I went “HA HA HA NO FUCKING WAY.” Zipper right in that place is just kind of “????” I don’t even know what they thought when they made this dress. *sighs*

Sorry but my Shep does not wear a thong into battle. She wears a practical sports bra and a practical pair of undies because she’s not a fucking idiot.

Also blatant edit/recolour of Allers’ skanky dress but w/e. 

Who thought this dress was a good idea?

lol yeah PRACTICALITY was aaaaaaaallllll they were thinking when they designed this. Not what they could fap to. Oh no.  I can’t even get a dress on when the zip is on the side by my arm XD  I also just… with this dress in the game ever at all ever, I wish they’d made femShep CLOSE HER FUCKING LEGS in that scene with Garrus >_<

(via dantes-disco-inferno)

thechocolatedandy:

vampishly:

taylorpgang:

i just did the biggest sigh ever

fuck, I’m having some tomorrow when I wake up >:(

Again, what is with all this porn on my dash all of a sudden.

(Source: foodphotosets)

The M!Shep ones are pretty clear - the first is youngest, the 3rd is oldest.

Is this how it works with F!Shep? Because all I see are freckles. No wrinkles, unlike the 2nd option. Just freckles.

Is this just another shallow, misogynistic way of objectifying women again? You know, we can have old men but no old women? Or is it just young Shep/old Shep/freckle Shep?  Why can’t my manShep have freckles?

masseffect3fail:

How come all the people who like the ending are unwilling to explain what the hell is going on?

How come they’re the ones always name-calling, and telling those of us who hate it that we’re “too stupid” to understand it?

The way I see it, it’s completely the opposite: They’re the ones too stupid…

Maybe my friends have some insight into this?

Seriously dude, what the fuck happened to my Yasmine :|  I know the light from the screen has fucked her up even more, but you can see the difference right? I mean… EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

The best thing about ME3 is pissing about with Shep’s face and looking at them all prettied up. 

Despite the fact that I hate this haircut and find it incredibly juvenile, I had to keep it; the clean-cut, slicked down cut I wanted for him just made his already chunky head look more like a box.

Also, he was soooooooooooo ass-ugly in ME2.  It was hard to get a nose that wasn’t splurged over half his face without him looking exactly like Jin.  But he looks OK now. Kind of a pretty boy face in the last pic but lol.

Mattias romanced Jack (was tempted by Tali, but she’s still soooooooooooooooo dull -0- Mattias needs a badass) and in my head is a giant of a man.  Also, he’s a soldier so yay! No need for Vega on any mission :DDDDDDDDD

masseffect3fail:

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/329478/20120417/mass-effect-3-ending-bsn-forum-ban.htm

http://www.holdtheline.com/threads/bsn-may-be-banning-htl-and-retake-members.1113/

Worth a read, and worth posting in the BSN to see if it’s true ;)

nonokono:

I made some stuff :3  

 There’s more where that came from and most of it will be on Etsy. I’m making myself a zodiac pocket watch necklace, but I’m waiting on some more of the black garden beads (the ones on the last Mucha necklace).

Reblogging for shameless self promotion, ‘cause they’re all for sale now :)

At first, I couldn’t decide whether or not to sign this. I mean, I’m about 99% sold on the idea of boycotting EA after Mass Effect 3 (more for their handling of the situation [i.e. indirectly insulting the lot of us], rather than the stupid, illogical and spectacularly crappy ending) and it seems pretty stupid to bother signing anything that supports them in any way, shape or form.

But… I can’t let bigots win. Anything. If EA gives in to bigots of any variety, I will never purchase anything produced or endorsed or even touched by them again. This, painfully, includes The Sims.

“Disappointed with Mass Effect 3 - please don’t let the fans down again by giving in to  bigots.”

I highly doubt the homophobic minority (who all bring shame to Jesus btw :D) will get very far with this - as EA seems to own almost everything and every genre in the gaming industry - but I don’t think it hurts to show these people that they are not wanted, and that their pig-headed opinions will not be tolerated.

And no, I don’t think it’s stupid to preach tolerance whilst simultaneously saying I won’t tolerate these people’s opinions - they preach hate, discrimination, prejudice. Some even advocate violence against others. None of those things should be tolerated in any decent society. I tolerate anyone of any colour, creed, faith, sexuality, planet - as long as they don’t try to put other people down.

I’d also like to say that these same bigots are trying to boycott Starbucks because they are in favour of gay marriage. So next time you fancy an overpriced coffee or a brownie and you have some ££ to spare on a little treat - go get some Starbucks!  I prefer Costa myself, but Starbucks is right next door to work so…

As I slowly struggle through Mass Effect 3 again, I will be documenting everything that makes no sense. Maybe you can help explain it?

This is an attempt to keep my main Tumblr free of the inevitable torrade of abuse hurled ME3’s way.